Of Seas and Shipwrecks

Lord, I am here. – But, child, I look for thee
Elsewhere and nearer Me. –
Lord, that way moans a wide and insatiate sea:
How can I come to Thee? –
Set foot upon the water, rest and see
If thou canst come to Me. –
Couldst Thou not send a boat to carry me,
Or dolphin swimming free? –

--------------------------

There aren’t many experiences that I can recall as vividly as that first day out on the gulet boats sometime at 6 or 7 in the morning when the crew had already set us sailing across the Aegean Sea. I remember waking up and hearing the sound of the wind whipping wildly, only knowing that we had left Bodrum and we were going somewhere… I had no idea where. I got out of bed and went outside, finding several people already up taking in the experience. Going to the front of the boat, the experience is almost over powering for someone who has never been on a moving boat before. It is amazing. No matter how much the boat seems to rock you know you won’t fall out and you trust the crew to do their job. Imagine not having that confidence… the experience would be paralyzing. One can only imagine how terrifying it must be to be at sea in the middle of a storm.

Much of literature compares the ocean to the unpredictability of human existence. It is no wonder. The thing that is really striking about the nature of the sea is its formlessness; it is always changing. It is unpredictable if not entirely uncontrollable. You don’t know when the waves are going to strike, or how they are going to strike, you only know that they will. A full experience of the sea is not the same as experiencing water. It’s experiencing a combination of elements. It’s the water, the tide, the wind, the cold, the salt. And that means experiencing not just the wind in your hair and the thrill of sailing, but the bitterness of the salt and the terror of the storm.

Life is like the sea… I do not know that I will not sink. In fact, I am terrified that I will sink. Actually, I know that I will sink. And it’s knowing that that makes me wonder… why oh why does Peter attempt to walk upon the waves? He is only one man against the vast ocean. It is because his Lord tells him to come, and he comes knowing that the Divine Creator of the ocean will not allow the water to give way under his feet. Yet the miracle of walking on water was not enough. Irrational doubt crept into Peter’s mind. The power of the wind crippled him with fear. It is almost too easy to get overwhelmed with the terror of the storm, when things get too hard, too confusing, and far too unpredictable. Knowing our own strength against the waves, how weak we can be… we cannot control the wind. We cannot control the waves. They beat against us without rhythm or reason, and the wind throws us so far off course that it is more than a challenge to try to find our way again.

Mercifully we are not left to find our own way. In that very moment of crippling fear Jesus “immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’” (Matthew 14:31). Why oh why did Peter doubt when the God in Whom we live and move and have our being is before him? How did fear grip him when he could see with his own eyes that Jesus—not a ghost but in corporeal form—was walking upon the waves Himself and was calling for him?

It is the same reason we fear anything at all. But it is on these waves which we walk, amidst the wind which tugs and pulls at us from all sides, that our will to control our environment must be surrendered. We must surrender, lest we drown. It is in surrendering and entrusting our entire well-being to the Invisible that we are saved. It is here where the wind ceases and the storm is calmed.

Better to be like Paul headed toward Rome then Odysseus traveling the wide sea. While one man had an inner passion to return to the home he longs for, the other has an inner strength from an external Source—the Divine Fount—an eternal hope which defies all human rationality. Paul had the knowledge of the inevitable hardships of storm and shipwreck—but his journey was a divine mission. He had every reason to fear--that is, if he had only himself to trust—but he saw the Lord before him across the sea and believed.

Mankind may not control the waves or the wind, but they do have the choice to believe.

To despair is to sink below the waves; to hope is to walk on water.

-----------------------------

Nay, boat nor fish if thy will faileth thee:
For My Will to is free. –
O Lord, I am afraid. – Take
Hold on Me:
I am stronger than the sea. –
Save Lord, I perish. – I have
Hold of thee.
I made and rule the sea,
I bring thee to the haven where though wouldst be.

– Christina Rossetti